Imagine having your immobilized, helpless partner in front of you being confident in offering you part of their freedom, being aware that you will treat this precious gift with care. Or you might imagine that you are the one immobilized in front of your partner, you feel that you cannot move but only abandon yourself to fantasies and emotions, to put yourself in the hands of someone else in whom you have placed your trust.
Now, imagine starting a journey together, accomplices in the discovery of what you offer to each other: pleasure, domination and submission, control, ecstasy, distancing yourselves from reality, fun, sex, etc.
Bondage is just that.
Once we are tied or tie our partner, we become more vulnerable; this allows us to get rid of all those “walls” that we pull up in everyday life. When we do bondage, we grant access to our body or enter the partner’s physical and psychological space. For these reasons and for the intensity of the experience, we sometimes touch on aspects that are difficult to verbalize, intimate aspects, desires that perhaps we feel the need to “give ourselves permission” to explore and live.
Obviously not everyone likes these sensations, but, if there is an interest in this sense, bondage can really give a lot on an emotional, sensorial, relational and sexual level.
By the way, did you know that I originally didn’t like bondage?
Exactly: for years I have been doing BDSM, but I have never, or almost never, used a rope. Then, thanks to a series of fortunate coincidences, I discovered this practice and over time it even became my job, precisely because I discovered that the ropes could give me everything I have talked about so far in this article.
Everyone can find their own reasons for wanting to be playing with ropes: there is no one better motive than another and it can be done together with different people with different purposes.
It can be done
- for fun,
- for the aesthetic taste of tying,
- because it excites us,
- to relax and estrange ourselves from reality,
- within a sexual relationship,
- because we like the feelings of constriction or suffering or because we like to be the person who guides these feelings,
- for the sense of trust and abandonment that is created in giving up or managing part of one’s own or others’ freedom,
- for the pleasure of controlling and dominating the partner or of feeling controlled and submissive.
Furthermore, bondage
- develops non-verbal communication and listening,
- speaks to the body and brain,
- makes you feel beautiful and appreciated,
- allows you to experience new sensations,
- allows us to experience particular emotions and fantasies,
- confronts us with our physical and emotional limits,
- stimulates our creativity and our fantasies,
- creates an extremely intimate and cohesive moment within the couple.
Not bad, right?
Not surprisingly, many people at the end of a lesson tell me “Andrea, I didn’t think there was this whole world behind the ropes!”.
