BDSM consent and negotiation guidelines

by La quarta corda

20 – Conclusions


As we have seen, the world of consent and negotiation is not always so clear-cut.

Our choices, the desire to feel safe or to leave some blurred boundaries, the decision to let the brain or the gut guide us may change depending on many factors.

Even informed consent is unlikely to always be absolutely such. If the session were to become a form to be filled in and followed to the letter, BDSM would be an extremely boring matter.

As I said at the outset, while we must take care to avoid consent incidents, the world of desire and sex also has dark sides that we may not exactly know how our feelings about. We may even get turned on by wanting to experience something that is not entirely among the things we would like to do.

This is an alluring but very slippery ground where we can count on the support provided by our own preparation and experience, but that can still easily make us stumble.

So I hope that all these words may also serve as training and food for thought. In short, I hope no one has the pretension of becoming the “World Negotiation Champ” and so deluding themselves to be safe from mistakes or pitfalls, but rather we all won’t ever lose the will to think about ourselves and how we relate to others.

I, for one.

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19 – When consent breaks

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